What I Learned about Menopause from Tamsen Fadal & Jo Lamarca

Hey friends — Deb here. I want to tell you about a recent Loopwell event that shook up what I thought I knew. It was a documentary screening of The (M) Factor: Shredding the Silence on Menopause, hosted by Tamsen Fadal & Jo Lamarca. It was sold out, buzzing with energy, questions, stories. Even though I’ve been going through menopause for a while, I learned things I didn’t know. I wanted to share them, not just so you feel less alone, but so maybe some of the fuzzy, ignored stuff starts clearing up.

Here are what I came away with — lessons, reflections, practical stuff — that I hope help you (or someone you care about) move forward with more power.

My Story Moment

Years ago, at my son’s middle school band concert, I thought I was having a heart attack. I was rushed via ambulance, tests in hospital. The diagnosis? Panic attacks. The doctor, in front of my in-laws, told me maybe I should see a psychiatrist. Now, there’s nothing wrong with mental health help. But what she didn’t see was that this was part of menopause. I had symptoms— racing heart, anxiety, maybe chest tightness—that we didn’t connect to the drop in hormones or perimenopause. I kept thinking: why didn’t somebody (anybody) mention this could all be “that phase of life”?

What Tamsen & Jo teach in The (M) Factor helped me fill in so many blanks from that moment — and now, I want to share what lit up for me.

What I Learned

Menopause is way more than hot flashes

The documentary pushes back hard on the idea that menopause is just about getting hotter, sweating more, maybe having irregular periods. Yes, those are real—and brutal for many. But there are also mood changes, sleep disruption, joint and muscle pain, urinary issues, brain fog, memory lapses. It’s physical and mental health. What resonated with me: the way even doctors sometimes still minimize the “less sexy” symptoms or assume they’ll pass quickly.

Perimenopause and menopause are long, varied journeys

It’s not like there’s one day when everything shifts. There’s a lead-up, sometimes years, where the hormones fluctuate, symptoms sneak in, sometimes wildly. Many women don’t realize that until they’re deep into it. The documentary makes clear: this period can last years, and symptoms can ebb and flow.

Medical education — especially in school — often underprepares doctors for menopause care

One of the biggest takeaways I had: many doctors weren’t taught much, beyond the basics, about how to care for women in menopause. The film shows how knowledge gaps lead to misdiagnoses, dismissal, or generic advice (“try to sleep more,” “take hot baths,” “maybe it’s stress”) instead of tailored treatment. Even now, many women go without having basic conversations with their doctors about what’s normal, what’s not, what options exist.

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is complex but can be life-changing

The fear around HRT looms large in medical literature and among patients. The documentary and related reporting show how past studies (especially the Women’s Health Initiative) created headlines that led many to avoid HRT—even though newer analyses and current expert guidelines show when it can be beneficial, especially when personalized (considering age, risk factors, type of hormones, duration). It reminded me: HRT isn’t a one-size-fits-all, but written off too often.

Silence and stigma cost us

The film emphasizes that menopause has been treated as a taboo. Many women feel shame, embarrassment, or confusion. They suffer in silence, or believe symptoms are just something to “get through.” But silence means lack of support, lack of funding, lack of policy. And as I heard from other women in the room, when people share their stories, when community forms — that helps healing. Loopwell’s space, for example, becomes more powerful when we’re not behind closed doors alone.

Menopause has impacts on work, relationships & mental health — not just bodies

Beyond physical symptoms, the film shows how workplace expectations, caregiving roles, emotional labor, financial stress all interact with hormonal changes. Things like loss of confidence, brain fog, fatigue can affect performance, mood, sense of self. I saw so many women in that screening nodding, thinking, “That happened to me too.” It’s not just about coping with hot flashes—it’s about how we live.

What I’m Doing Differently Now

Because of what I learned, here are some changes I’ve made (or plan to) in my own life + what I’m building at Loopwell. Maybe some of these will help you, or give you ideas:

I’ve started talking openly with my doctor about all symptoms — not just the rash, or the sleepless nights, but the anxiety, heart pounding, etc., and asking explicitly if they could be menopause-related.

I explored an HRT-consult with a menopause specialist, weighing the risks and benefits for me (age, health history, family history).

I built more recovery into my movement routine — rest, gentle movement, strength work. Because fatigue + joint pain = you need a smarter plan.

I’ve leaned further into mental health tools: journaling, mindfulness, peer support. Because hormonal swings are real, and mind-body work matters.

In Loopwell, we now offer screenings and resources specifically for menopause care: screenings with menopause-knowledgeable practitioners, workshops based on the documentary, “Tiny Desk-style” talks with menopause experts where you can ask questions—even weird ones.

Lesson for You

If I could share one nugget with you from all this, especially if you’re going through (or approaching) menopause:

Don’t accept a dismissive “this is just your hormones” as the end of the conversation.

You deserve a doctor who listens, who knows more than “sleep more / hot baths,” who understands the data is changing.

Be curious. Read. Ask. Build a community. Try practical strategies. Because healing and thriving here isn’t just possible — it’s your right.

I hope when Loopwell writes more of these “What I Learned” posts, they give you not just comfort, but momentum. If you couldn’t come to the screening, I’m working on capturing what was shared in a video series + tool-kits so you can practice, apply, and move forward.

With love & fierce curiosity,

Deb